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I’m scared as to if I am making the right decision to move to Rockford as time goes forward I think it’s the best thing. I can do to save my sanity if I don’t do what I feel I should be doing in life I never know what couldĀ partake of me. I also feel that if I leave now things would change for the better as I leave once and for all.Switzerland trip arrives in several weeks and I don’t feel like I would like to do the cruise anymore as much as I thought it would be fun I have a feeling I am going to regret going on it should I choose to tell my sir to hold off till late April I’m afraid that my sir would get angry with me.I also had ran into my ex friend who was trying to love me and I shut him down to care about the person I live with now. it was the hardest thing emotionally to me that I could have possibly been in a relationship that could have change my life again. I can’t believe I always deny things as they happen that why I fail so badly at finding what I desire I’m afraid to take a chance and figure what do I have to loose.

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