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So everyday I go to bed scared what my future will bring and where I will end up. I look at various parts and pieces of my life and I know that if I don’t go to Germany to experience a lifetime of full lock up in a bondage prison that I will miss out truly in what I need. I know I need to legally move out of the United States as my health can’t take much anymore and I don’t want to die in a country who wants nothing to do with me. Living somewhere where I have no one who would come to my funeral when I’m dead it’s not the life I want to live I want to experience a life where I’m isolated from the world but still able to have those that care.