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Life is just getting worse every day. There are so many days when I wake up in tears and am breaking out in night sweats because I can not have the freedom I need. I need to be arrested and need to finally experience the true freedom that inmates are provided. I need the simplicity that a small jail cell provides. Everything that a person needs is in one such as a bunk a toilet sink combination and a door that locks the person within. I can not understand why its so hard for the useless police departments I have begged to allow me to stay, prefer to make fun of me and think that I need a psych ward. I know what the fuck I need and yet its so hard to find the therapy. Sure if I was rich and had money to build my own cell I gladly would but I live on social security and do not have the luxury of owning my own property and the resources to build a cell.
Everyday I wish the pain would be over and that this illness doesn’t get worse but I fear that if no jail cell therapy exists I will seize to exist in the near future. My body is shutting down and there is a lack of people who fucking care about me. I did everything for others and when I need support I am brought to tears. I did not ask for wanting this in my life but the problem is real. I just don’t have the thousands to go abroad either to pay for a stay.