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I feel so lost and so confused and struggling to cope with problems of being free. I know that without being owned long-term and secured long term I can’t handle all this pain anymore. Every night I’m climbing on top of my prison mattress praying for the ability to be taken to jail and live life in lockdown24/7. One great thing is that wearing this metal belt makes me more complacent and know freedom is bad. I can’t live without a prison cell to be locked into and i can’t feel safe half the time rarest secured to a point.

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