I wish I had the opportunity of a lifetime to be able to be loved and wanted in life. I wish that someone would give me that chance in Europe. I have nothing left in life to keep going for. I have shitty medical care and live in a third world country called America. This place is the worst country in the world that I have sadly lived 31 years to long in. The New Years will mark the end of the pain as I will no longer have medications for my life. I will no longer have what I need to fight anymore. I will no longer be able to have the basics in life. I will no longer see happiness as it has been ripped beneath me by some cruel people. I wanted to live in Finland and never will have that opportunity my skills are not good enough for anyone. I am told that I should kill myself daily and not even held or loved. I will say goodbye soon as I no longer need to live in a world of pain and hurt.
I hate how my time was wasted by this piece of utmost garbage who is unable to love. I wish I could have my life be important to someone as I am going to die in America from the lack of healthcare. I have no friends here in this dump country and am left to die. I wish there was someone that would actually help. I am tired of this I care bullshit and I want to help you but when it comes to committing an action they do not actually do what is needed to help. I can not wait as karma will come back to those who fucked me over. Being selfish is great for the person who is being selfish but not for the one who tried to care for a deadbeat. I wish never spent seven dates with a fucking loser who can not love. I fucking have to die because I can not be in Europe. I want to fucking die today and not have to suffer this pain. If I am so special then why am I treated like I am a piece of garbage. I wish I could be in the ground not having to feel these emotions anymore because I am all alone.